Sexy Lingerie to the Rescue! It’s Better Than a Cape!
Ten years after retiring from both the newspaper and the superhero businesses, a very bored Mr. Kent stares out of the window, remembering the days when he would stretch his arms out in the turquoise blue of the summer sky and sail through it, like the birds that taunt him now. He rubs the arch of his gut, sighing as he thought about how ungraceful he would be if he tried to take flight these days, wondering in the back of his mind if the damned cape and tights would even fit his chubby butt. Some super hero, he thought with a grunt.
With a wistful smile, he tells his wife that he needs to go for a walk, meaning in all sincerity to go to the park on his favorite bench. Imagine if you were to come across your childhood hero, sitting in the pale sunlight casting chunks of bread for the birds and then frying that bread to crisps just as they start to peck! Mean spirited, perhaps, but it could be ever so much worse. On this day, even taunting the birds wasn’t doing anything for his melancholy mood so he started walking up town. He seriously didn’t plan it, but there he was: sitting in the corner booth of some dank and dirty, dark and depressing bar watching the girls undressing, removing their sexy lingerie with blank looks on their faces while they tried to get tips from a crowd that was not really there for the fun of it all. No one looked up as a shard of light fell part way into the room and then retreated, the front door opened and closed without anyone noticing who it was.
Finishing the single, watered down drink, the man tosses a few tattered bills to the table and then leaves, fully aware of the smell of beer, guilt and depression that encircled him like a halo. Dear God, he thought to himself, there has to be more than this. Had he really let himself get to this point, the point that might have allowed him to cheat on his wife? Had he allowed things to get stale after all? Racing to the shopping mall, he bought a few surprise gifts and raced home once again, as close to flying as he had done in quite some time.
The kitchen was eerily quiet and dark in the gathering shadow of early evening. The lights outside had not yet flickered into life, but they couldn’t be far from it. There was no wife in the living room, the television a mute, blind eye staring accusingly at him. His heart heavy, he started to climb the stairs to their bedroom, barely breathing as he started thinking the worst with super human speed.
He pushed open the door and stood there goggle eyed and slack jawed, twin thuds as he dropped the gifts from both hands. There, in the light of dozens of candles and twinkling Christmas lights, stood the wife he had thought he was bored with in her own, sexy lingerie. Her auburn hair was pulled up, but as he walked closer, she shook it loose, allowing it to fall in soft waves to frame her face.
It had been forever since he had flown in the summer sky, fearing that he had grown too old and too fat to grace the clouds. It had been just as long since she had slipped into sexy lingerie, especially before the forgiving blackness of full dark for much the same reasons. Later, he might try a leap from their window, if he had the energy, he thought, but right now, holding his wife with her barely there, sexy lingerie and the scent of her skin dancing in his nose he thought that this was just as close to flying anyway. Sighing, he pulled her even tighter, kissing her softly and then with more urgency. As she takes a few steps backwards, allowing him to press her back onto the bed, he whispers, “Oh, Lois!”
